We would lynch him if we could locate him (infintysquared) wrote in furryshamans,
We would lynch him if we could locate him

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"The Internet is Jewish."

I just sent in my first unsolicited essay in hopes that maybe someone at NPR's "This American Life" will read it. I'm shy because I am a perfectionist in nature, yet I admit that I have to submit something or else nobody will read it. Thus, I take the shortcut, mask myself into a shameless performer, warts and all, and dare the reader not to read it.

"The Internet is Jewish."

Here is my overanalytical opening statement nutshelled for your enjoyment:
I was born Catholic, raised Methodist, spent some time exploring LaVeyan Satanism, flopped into an atheist when that scene started turning bad, evolved into somewhat of an eclectic Shaman; but the Internet is Jewish.

We evolved as geeks who were estranged from our social peers, forced to find other ways to socialize, we began to learn the way of being physically passive, yet intellectually neophilic.

We learned how to shield ourselves from the social blows of playground bullies, while retaining our inner child with awestruck fascination with things that are new, goading one another into trying something stupid and creative where the consequences of failure were nil.

We grew up with this internet, with this "Instant Messaging" system completely uprooting prior advertising campaigns because we had a tabula rasa on which to play the fool, the jester who is not afraid to shout that the emperor is naked.

We grew up with a culture that encouraged pranking and anonymity, the sharing of ideas and change as a good thing, as our technophobic fathers tried to adapt to the parabolic curve of NEW STUFF.

We turned from a culture of the sixties that was trying to encourage their toddlers to try new things into a positive feedback loop that will only create more novelty and trust bonds. They wanted us to try new things, but not THAT many, not THAT new, not THAT fast.

And yet, the masses at large, those who use the internet as a tool rather than a lifestyle, the "real people" who try to use a baseball bat as a tool when the console starts making a funny noise, they still estrange us.

They tell us that they don't need our new technology. And they're right, they don't need it. They can get along just fine without us.

But when you have a Jewish baker who does not define himself as a Jew, yet has that label thrust upon him, he's still known as the Jewish baker.

But he takes that name, that title, makes the best damn bread this street has ever seen, and all of you are welcome to his business, Jewish or not.

And he takes the profits from that bakery, makes something good, tries to make his own community a little better?

And he takes the goodwill that comes from the people whose lives he has bettered, individually?

But he's still a Jew, an outcast.

And I'm still an internet junkie.

Thank you.

-Carl Johnson, 3-23-2008

Hey, I know me a lawbook!
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

xposted: flemcomics, furryshamans, infintysquared
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